Didn't you get that memo?

"The NBA's labor agreement with the referees' union expired Sept. 1, and no new talks have been scheduled since Stern angrily and abruptly ended a formal bargaining session last Tuesday." - ESPN



It looks like we are in for scrub referees if they cannot get things worked out.



One thing is certain, they will soon be here. They cannot be stopped. And I for one welcome our new substitute referee overlords.


These are trying economic times. Everybody is cutting back. New Referee Orientation might get cut short. Maybe instead of flying them all to a sweet conference in Las Vegas the league decided to bring the new zebras up to speed by having a "webinar" instead. If refs are like the rest of us they probably play solitaire or watch Hulu instead of the exhilarating web cam view of some NBA exec flipping charts.


But for whatever reason, call it fate, call it luck, call it karma...I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe we were meant to have scrub refs this season. For what purpose? To make up the rules...ourselves.


Listen up NBA players. Learn these ten rules, band together and insist that this is the way things are run now.

1. No more 3 pointers. It's now a 3.25 pointer.
2. All players are to be addressed by the referee as "Sensei".
3. Greg Oden is allowed 10 fouls per game.
4. All visiting players must wear the blast shield down when shooting free throws.
5. Rollerblades must be worn during overtime. This applies to the referees as well.
6. Referees must notify the scoring table of a foul by using Twitter from a list of approved devices. (Example)
7. The head referee is required to wear a band-aid over the back of his/her neck.
8. Flagrant two fouls will land the offending player in a hockey style penalty box that will be suspended above the court.
9. Once per game, a player may invoke the, "I wasn't trying my hardest" exception and require a do over of the previous possession.
10. Instead of being ejected, a coach can submit to being tasered by the opposing team's coach.

Try it guys. This could be fun.